March Madness dunks, and musings..

1. Candice Parker, the 6'4" all American center for Tennessee was the first 'girl' to throw one down; that's right, dunk-in-your face, and call your mama cause I'm climbing the net and letting one rip in an NCAA tournament. The great USC all American center, 6'5" Lisa Leslie, was the first player to crank one up over the hoop in a WNBA game. There was a smirk on my face when the 50 year anniversary of Wilt Chamberlin's 100 point NBA game was recognized by the media. As great as it was, these shiny nuggets of dish should light up your day: the aforementioned Lisa Leslie (who was a pain in the ass to some pretty good Cal teams) scored 101 points in one half during a game, and would have continued the barrage, but the other team refused to leave the locker room and take the court for the 2nd half. The final score was 102-24. Another gleaming sliver of memorabilia: USC All American, Cheryl Miller, sister of Reggie, and gold medal winner in the summer Olympics and the Pan American games went 'unconscious' deep into the zone, and once banked 105 points. A couple of nights ago, 6'8" Brittney Griner took one to the house, phi slamma jamma, baby, and dunked one down on Florida.

2. The question is, can VanDerveer and the Ogwumike all World sisters
lead Stanford past Kim Mulkey, Baylor, and Brittney Griner's size 18 sneaks? Can the Cardinal not choke on past NCAA tournament karma, and run the table? There's already been plenty of crying over in the boys brackets as upsets reigned this past weekend. I'm rooting for you Tara to cut down the nets, even though I almost choked on those words. Show em how we ball out here on the West coast.

3. Um, in some sort of senior moment, I've decided to try and memorize a couple of lines of poetry a week. This week, I've chosen the first 4 lines of Lord Byron's,
'She walks in Beauty.' Just saying...my friends, it's not all March Madness here.

Rainy day Tags

1. Northern Cali is currently swamped by a series of storms. Nothing like hunkering down under sweeping bands of wind and rain. In March. Motha Nature sashaying through the global warming beltway, laying down the splash and flurries just in the nick of the time. Atta girl! In Ben Lomand, down the coast, 9.6 inches of falling water was recorded. I swear I saw a paper boat float down the street today bumping up across the curb before it docked against a tire.

2. So everyday there are these geese that take flight. Same time. Same air space. Once in the morning at 7:30. Return trip in the late afternoon. I have tried to count wings and beaks as they stream their way through the corridor over my building. Elusive in their honking. And it is, my friends, loud. As they wing it, so goes the honking until they're off the horizon. But then in some sort of cosmic convergence, I caught a glimpse of this harmonic act last weekend. 2. Only 2 geese in a straight line. In sync. Perfect. The gaggle was on me.

3. The Walking Dead. One of the most creative telly series to hit my living room. Based on a comic book series, it is hard to describe without
sounding like an,um, zombie lover, but this is really about survivors and the journey. The show has set the record for cable audiences over anything else that has been aired previously.

4. The Walking Dead: currently, the Repubs who are in total retrograde. Neanderthal shenaningans. Stone age politics. Women. Back to the kitchen. Barefoot. And pregnant. Oh pleassse...

5. Arizona. The same state that produced SB1070, the controversial
anti-immigration legislation, has proposed a new bill that would allow employers the right to deny health insurance coverage for birth control pills based on religious beliefs. A woman would be required to provide proof that her prescription is being used for non-sexual activity. WTF.

Spanning the Globe

1. Ok, I confess. As a kid I split the cookie apart. Ever so gently so that the middle didn't crack. I placed the halves face up on the table (who needs a plate) exposing the oval coating of
white icing, the plump magical sugary goodness, and scraped that mother off with my pearly teeth. The dunk was for donuts. We didn't need no stinking milk. Manufactured in Chelsea, New York city, in 1912, the oreo turned 100 today, surviving 'lard' gate, and 'hydrogenated oil' gate. Many an afternoon when the work world was buzzing with BS, I'd hustle myself down to the defunct ASUC junk food store and grab a pack of oreos. Yes, my friends if they were good enough for Santa as he made his rounds, hey, they were most def good enough for me.

2. 'Plan 9 from Outer Space' a sci fi movie made in 1959 by the lovable Ed Wood was the Mt. Everest of 'bad, really bad' cult films until yesterday. Wood's script had it all. Flying saucers, grave yards, aliens, and humans constructing a doomsday weapon to destroy the universe. Plan 9 was the resurrection of the earth's dead-zombies, (or walkers, ha!) -to create havoc by the aliens to get the earth's attention. That all changed. Seamlessly. Last night, I watched Robert Rodriguez's, 'From Dusk till Dawn' scripted by QT and released in 1996. Geezuz, Mary and Joseph. Rampaging shark jumping . George Clooney (who would probably like to incinerate this film) and QT are the Gecko bros who rob banks, murder and pillage their way to Mexico kidnapping Harvey Keitel, a preacher, and his two kids, one of them a very nubile Juliette Lewis. The Gecko boys are so bad that you just know shit is waiting for them around the corner. And my friends, it is, in a strip bar, the 'Titty Twister,' which is possessed by vampires sunk in the middle of a barren landscape populated by bikers and bad mofos with names like 'sex machine.' The dialogue, and the plot is so off the chart, so lavishly bad, so incredible that streams of laughter punctuated the footage. In the end, the shark went belly up from exhaustion. And the movie ascended to Everest. Two nice cameos by the great Michael Parks and the under-appreciated John Hawkes. Good last frame before the creds roll.

Glitter

We all like to watch. Because for several hours, Hollywood loses the scripts, and the wardrobe changes and the F stops to celebrate and honor their collective peers. It's the mother of all 3 rings. No safety nets. Only the little red eye with the 10 second delay, network xanax, for ape s**t moments.

1. In 1932, Walt Disney won the first Oscar in a new category, best cartoon short, for 'Flowers and Trees' a cartoon which utilized the innovation of color.

2. First movie to win Best Picture, in color, was Gone with the Wind, in 1939.

3 Oscar weighs 8 1//2 pounds, and measures approximately 14 inches.

4. In 1972, George C. Scott was awarded the Oscar for best actor as 'Patton.' He declined calling the awards ceremony, 'a meat market.' Two years later, Marlon Brando refused his best actor Oscar for 'The Godfather.' Sacheen Littlefeather, in full tribal regalia, was sent by Brando to read his statement which chastised Hollywood and the USA for their discrimination of Native Americans. Later it was discovered that Littlefeather was really actress Maria Cruz. Whaaat?

5. Only X rated movie to ever win Best Picture was 'Midnight Cowboy.' 1969.

6. The only actor to ever be nominated twice after his death, the enigmatic, and great James Dean. First in 1955 for 'East of Eden,' and then the following year for 'Giant.'Both nominations were in the best actor category.

7. Movies nominated for 2012 Best Picture of the year:

'The Artist. Front runner. Do the Euros really win back to back?
'The Descendants.' Hollywood's love affair with Clooney.
'Extremely loud and Incredibly Close.' You're kidding.
'The Help.' A social commentary.
'Hugo'. Hollywood awash in Scorsese guilt.
'Midnight in Paris.' No late night phone call to NYC.
'Moneyball.' Vastly underrated.
'The Tree of Life.' Geezuz. Need Malick 101 for translation.
'War Horse.' Why?

Drinking game: take a slug every time someone mentions Harvey Weinstein. Enjoy.

On deck #66

Frosted animal crackers. Before devouring, blot out ingredients. Why does something so bad, pastel waxen shapes made in some twink cave, taste so good? On a rampage for 3 weeks, can't get enough of the weirdness. At the end of the world, this year, the only surviving items will be the twinkie, and a bag of frosted animal cookies. This I know. Trust me.

The number 66. Not quite roly poly... a drunk pair of inverted 9's. Wannabe rigid sevens. The greatest road way that led to and from San Bernadino, Cali; Bobby Troup wrote a song in 1946 which was covered by Nat King Cole, the Stones, Chuck Berry, Depeche Mode and a roomful of others. All caravans cut back and forth on this mother lode, route 66. If you ever tripped out this way when you were young, you experienced old school Americana. Small towns, and roadside attractions. Bill boards, and orange shaped huts. Burma shaving cream. Flying winged horses hovering over gasoline stations. Clear as a bell. In waves.

Route 66 morphed into a classic telly show in the 60's.

Interesting 66 factly fact: order 66 in Star Wars was a prepared plan for the clones to kill the Jedi commanding them.

66 not quite as cool as 55, those double nickels. But I'll take the old road map any day.

The Yellow Mamba....etc.

He is the freaking toast of New York...the city that never forgets or forgives. The city where most of the population would bump their own mother off a train for a seat on the transit. For crissake, the Bronx cheer was born here. But, baby, if you make it here, you can make it anywhere. And, Jeremy Lin, 6'3" (as if), the Knicks point guard, by default is torching the city; the Knicks win, and the daily rags are dripping in Lin ink. NewYawkers cannot get enough of the golden Asian boy from Palo Alto. Golden State Warriors cut him. They let him go. I'm not even going to touch that. Madison Square Garden sold out, and drowning in a Lin fest of 'Linsanity' signs, a sloshing 2012 human 'be-in' is on pins and needles awaiting the return of the heavies, Amar'e Stoudemire, and Carmelo Anthony. Ego. Ego. Ego. In the meantime the love affair continues...#17, his crazed fans, and me. I heard Lin even walks on water.

Feb. 14th. Not really backing up a whole lot in years. Here's a compilation of songs, in no particular order that struck a memory chord:
1. Do right woman, Do right man...Aretha
2. This must be the Place...Talking Heads
3. Little Cloud...Incredible String Band
4. You got the Silver...Stones
5. I only have eyes for You...Flamencos
6. Turn it On...Sleater-Kinney
7. Italian leather Sofa...Cake
8. Stay a little Longer...Bob Wills
9. Stornelli Amorisi...Claudio Villa
10. Crown of Love...Arcade Fire
11. A case of You...Joni Mitchell
12. You really got a hold on Me...Smokey and the Miracles.
Uh, just saying...

Eli's coming....

We're talking Super Bowl today. If you don't like sports specifically football, taking a hike outta here might be a good idea. On Sunday, in the dome that Peyton built, it's Obi Wan vs the Dark Star. Imperial storm troopers vs Jedi. Eli vs Brady Boy for all the marbles of the NFL universe. 60 minutes of mayhem, Madonna at the half, and the best damn commercials served up for public consumption. Some facts:

1. Winning players rack up $88,000,and become Lords of the Ring.
The NFL contributes $5,000.per individual ring bling. Last year, the Green Bay Packers rings were platinum and 18k gold encrusted 3.35 carats, not carrots, with the jewels that are a girl's best friend.

2. The losers? $44,000. And no one ever remembering their name.

3. Each TV ad that airs...cherish the moment. It cost 3.5 million for the broadcast slot.

4. Opening face value of tickets were $800.-$1,200. But, uh, nose bleed seats in the upper deck over the end zone being offered today at $2,247.

5. In Vegas. Casinos are fielding $87.5 million in wagers on this Super Bowl. NY money. And action is up 5.8% from 2010.

6. But my friends, Vegas can't hold this jock strap: 10 billion greenbacks
bet illegally in office pools across the nation. We are a lotto swilling luck
crazed country.

7. Food. 28 million pounds of potato chips consumed. 53.5 million pounds of avocados mashed. 1 billion pounds of chicken wings spiced and slathered. And 325.5 million gallons of beer tossed back. On Monday, 7 million people call in sick.

8. A Prop is a gimmick bet. Here's the best one for half time: what song will the Material Girl open with? I say not 'Like a Virgin.' Hmmm, maybe one of Gaga's.

My prediction for the game. You have to walk and talk it, right?
Eli leads the Giants to another ring. New Yorkers fuggedabout the Jets and the Yankees. Ticker tape rains in the canyon of heroes. Giants 30-Pats 23.