'You ask whyyyyy? We don't give a f...'

Instead of sheep, those lyrics by Boss leap frogged through my somnambulant glazed condition all night. Whyyyyyy? Ray Rice, baby. And if you have been on another planet segue to TMZ and watch the brutal Rice video. The assault actually begins by the pillar in the hallway of the casino where Rice is waiting for Janay Palmer; you see Rice spit on her as she walks by him; she in turn spins around and slaps him with the back of her hand. They step into the elevator. The doors close. And Rice punches Palmer twice in the face, knocking her out cold. The violence is so shocking that a nation who hero worships on Sunday across the ballparks of America, collectively grabbed their devices and went all HAM yesterday. A viral shit storm hit the airwaves. On this day, and in this age, you might run, mofo, but you can't hide.

Some things I learned yesterday: 1. That TMZ a national broadcasting news rag is more powerful than the National Football League because evidently TMZ knew how or whose palms to grease for a copy of the casino elevator video feed. 2. That the aforementioned NFL could have procured a copy of that tape from Rice's attorney by asking. 3. By not digging deeper in their investigations, the NFL and the Ravens chose to believe and pander to the soft story the star athlete was selling. 4. That before the TMZ video yesterday, there were some who thought 'she' provoked 'him.' JesusH.

Roger Goodell, the NFL commissioner. The only thing he will be remembered for is 'Elevatorgate.'

Head coach, John Harbaugh's presser. Pathetic. Left on an island by Steve Bisciotti, the owner, and Ozzie Newsome the GM, Harbaugh looked uncomfortable and fell flat on his face trying to put a spin on a crime that has no spin. WTF?

Head coach, Jim Harbaugh, the brother of John, preached zero tolerance to his team, the SF 49ers, regarding domestic violence. Defensive lineman Ray McDonald was arrested, for allegedly hitting his pregnant fiance. The 49ers chose not to suspend McDonald but to play him because they were 'down' a couple of lineman. Huh?

If you talk it, walk it. Zero tolerance takes stones, my friends. Evidently, in the NFL no one has grown a serious pair yet.

Eat a....

1. Fickle. I bet that's the first word that crossed through your mind.
Thought I blew you off for the summer? Well as you could see from the previous post, things did derail me. But, tempus fugit. Remember that Carly Simon song from the 70's??? The one which had us all, on pipe filled Saturday nights, speculating as to whom the song was about? The one with the spectacular lyrics 'there were clouds in my coffee?' Well, I went to Saratoga Springs too and my horse (s) won; but it also was James Fenimore Cooper country, and absolutely lovely. Verdant. Pastoral. Sultry. Over tea one morning, I asked if it snowed in Upstate during the winter, and the denizens rolled their eyes and laughed. The restaurants were old school. Many of them flourishing under 2nd or 3rd generation ownership. It was refreshing for a change not to be presented with a fussy California menu. There wasn't a meal I met that I didn't like. Everyone was kind and informative. The frozen custard, step aside gelato, outstanding. The lakes placid and very forgiving.

2. The O'Henry peach. The season is short, my friends. Grown in and about the Central Valley, the crop is bountiful this year. From a distance in the
produce section blushing hills of ripening flesh made for good eating. Peach pie. Peach cobbler. And peach ice cream. Come to mama...

3. The Kurds have deployed all female military units to bolster the front lines in Iraq...Peshmerga women have been fighting in the field since the late 1990's, and have earned a reputation for their fierceness and bravery. Ponder this: the Jihadists don't like facing women in combat, because if killed by a woman they believe they will not go to heaven.

4. The A's. I leave Cali and they're in first place. I return, and they're sucking donks.

5. Joan Rivers. The red carpet will never be the same.

'Coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in...'

Well, I bet you thought I walked out the door for that loaf of bread and disappeared into the night sky like ol' Jack Bauer. Never to be heard of again. But, you know how that goes. Sequels fly out of monkey's whatevers... Not that anyone's been asking but while you all were out enjoying camping, hiking, or 6 flags festivities, a crappy summer cold morphed it's way into my lungs and laid me low for weeks. And just as I flipped the switch on that bad boy, the dormant, snoozing, (60 years and counting) chicken pox virus spewed out a shingles jail break on my upper bicep. The only 'good' thing was that it missed my tattoos. The nerve pain was a mofo. Am I whining? Well, uh, yes. Luck of the draw? Why, yes. Vaccination? Uh, yeah.

1. BS. (Before shingles). Jim Jarmusch. His latest film, 'Only Lovers left
Alive.' Brilliant. Straight to cult classic. Tilda. Jim Hiddleston, and John Hurt who was fabulous as Marlowe. The soundtrack has some great chops. Detroit. Tangier. A stylized, moody, witty script filled with scintillating dialogue, Jarmusch glitter, whizzing across the celluloid and tickling the synapses.

2. PS. (Post shingles). Snowpiercer. Directed and written by Bong Joon
Ho. A huge box office hit in South Korea, the current buzz of the summer movies. In an off year for the industry, it's refreshing to see a film that in the end, pricks your cerebral cortex. Tilda again. In a supporting role. Chris Evans who surprises. One more time with the great John Hurt.

3. Migration of the children. El Presidente sent a plane full back to Honduras a couple of days ago. It is the first deportation of the waves of undocumented children and babes in arms. The thousands of children streaming over the border, leaving dangerous countries, have tossed gasoline onto an already fiery debate. On one side, humanitarians. On the other, citizens who favor deportation. Protests abound in border states. Uh, what was that song, Karen Carpenter sang? Huh. 'Bless the beasts and the children.' Drop a quarter in the juke.

'The nature of your game..'

But, we do know the name, and it reared it's head twice this week...

1. After stepping into the pile, and back tracking like the dog it is, Sacred Heart Cathedral blinked, and altered their senior portrait policy which had previously been: boys in tux, girls in off the shoulder drape (really? so, 1950's); this when Jessica Urbina wore a tuxedo to the shoot and evidently Rorschached SHC administration to pull the plug, excising her portrait from the yearbook. Hard to believe in a city like San Francisco famous for it's flamboyance, tolerance, and yes, cross dressers, that an action steeped in conservative bullcrap would flow from one of the more prominent schools in the Bay Area. Outraged students went all 'ham' and wore ties in support of Jessica; tweeter accounts blasted the decision, the story going viral. And we all know when news goes viral, shit happens. Today, SHC, apologized to the Urbina family, admitted the policy was wrong, and will paste Jessica's picture in the yearbook. Paste. Uh, the entire yearbook should be sent back to press and printed again.

2. Jill Abramson, she of the Gothic Times T tattoo on her back,  the first woman appointed as executive editor of the NY Times got the sack last week in a stunning and shocking move by the Times. Ms Abramson, a feisty woman who was not afraid to spar with colleagues, was removed from her position over 'an issue with management in the newsroom.' Ms Abramson was 'allegedly upset over financial disparity compared to past, male Times executives.' Huh. This is only over when the fat lady sings. And you bet that after this 'dust up' sometime in the future, Ms Abramson, boys, will have the last word .

T & A Empire strikes back...

1. So, did you think we had fallen out and gotten a divorce? Were you picturing: apt. filled with crusty pizza boxes, empty almond butter jar scraped dry? Coconut milk cartons strewn across the counter tops, cereal flakes embedded in the floor? Not so fast, my friends. Laconic. Maybe. Uh, sty? No. Just messing with you. And our love affair. Been here and there. Up in the Sierras where I saw fleeting patches of snow bordering the freeway, more evergreen than ice with a promise of more balmy springs to come. Today, it's raining. And gloomy. But people are walking around with dopey smiles, surreal giddiness, as the drought receives a slight reprieve.

2. Frances. A rez so hard to procure. But fickle luck, and it was luck, smiled benevolently. We were seated as walk-in's. Incredible! A small establishment in need of shoe horns to seat diners, but who cared. Food exceeded hype. Waiters sparkled. To the left, 2 Kurds from Dubai.
On the right, a chef from Boulevard. And a host from Locanda. Memorable convergence.

3. Buffalo Bills Cheerleaders. 5 former Jills launched a suit against the Bills for failing to pay them minimum wage, $8.00, for hours worked during the 2010-11, and 2013-14 season. The Bills have suspended all cheerleader activities while they investigate the allegations. The official Jills Glamour Guidebook is nauseating and humiliating; a searing indictment of boorish, neanderthal requisites  unfit for human consumption on any level. The Jills follow the Raiders, Ravens and Bengals cheerleaders who have also filed lawsuits against their organizations citing salary issues, and working conditions. No freebies anymore, boys.

4. Ou' est Flight 370?

5. South Korean Ferry tragedy. Criminal negligence at the highest level. Grief and lawsuits for days. The shit is about to hit the fan.

One and Done...

March madness finally had lift off and early during the day there were two upsets. Harvard, seeded 11, won for only the 2nd time in their NCAA tournament basketball history, showing the boys from Cincy, seeded 5, that the ivy league had game; while 11th seeded Dayton in the South region sent Ohio State packing. The finality of tournament hoops, the one and done formula, have caused many a strong man to weep as college seniors close out their careers on losing teams.

El Presidente unveiled his brackets on ESPN yesterday. His final 4 are Louisville, Arizona, Michigan State and Florida. The champion is Michigan State. Last year, Obama's brackets ranked 2,080,996, in the 74.4 percentile.

Some March Madness facts that might interest the leader of the free world as he guzzles his filtered water around the White House water cooler: 86% of employees will be actively involved in 'cyberloafing' as they check for scores, and updates throughout the days and weeks of the basketball tournament. 81% will physically cut away from their jobs to watch games during the work day. 56% of employees will be anxiously occupied during the first rounds of play as 'bracket busting' games occur. There will be 10.5 million hours streamed by workers for uh, game updates. During this time, 50 million employees participate in office pools. 175 million is the amount of wages employers will pay their 'cyberloafing' employees during the madness. And finally, 41% of employees think the annual tournament has a 'positive' impact on the workplace.

Since you gotta walk the walk instead of just talk....Florida Gators looking distracted in their 1st round of play, making me sweat (!), are my pick to cut down the nets in Texas. Enjoy y'all.

Friday Postscripts

1. Back from the islands. Same ol'song, but a different verse. Flew into
Oahu under beautiful skies; to my right a postcard, Diamond Head, with a ribbon of sand bumping up against the sparkling Pacific blue, and then... almost, but not quite, the mother of all landings. Passengers yelled collectively as we rocknrolled in our seats; two things: 1.Whopping human error. 2. Where the rubber shouldawoudacoulda hit the road, we had careened off the asphalt,  back into the air, colliding severely with the tarmac again. Wtf? It shaved maybe a nano second from my life, before I stepped out into the balmy tropical breeze and flip-flopped my way to baggage.

2. Pussy Riot. Horsewhipped, pepper sprayed and detained by the Cossack militia, who apparently had nothing better to do (pre Kiev), as the Olys were rolling, again attacked yesterday morning by another band of Cossacks who threw green paint and garbage on them as they were eating breakfast at McDonald's (hmm, Mickey D's in Russia). Nadezhda Tolokonnikova and Maria Alyokhina. Two years in Siberia. And back at it again with their posse. Never has a regime been so fearful of so few, uh, women.

3. Meanwhile, in this country, a bill that would have removed sexual assault cases from the jurisdiction of military commanders, and placed
them under a neutral court of law, failed 55-60,  five miserable votes short of advancing it to a floor vote. El Presidente should have, but chose not to weigh in and back Senator Gillibrand's campaign. Instead, he gave the military until the end of 2014 to improve their response. Where oh where are the Underwoods when we need them?

4. International Women's Day tomorrow. Own it.