Scatter Shots

1. Remember the death star in Star Wars? Sure you do. It blasted Alderaan, Princess Leia's home, to moon dust and beyond with turbo lasers and Lucas boy toys. The L.A. county sheriff's department is about to leap frog Grand Moff (Gov.) Tarkin, and co with the installation of an 'Assault Intervention Device,' that will be used to control marauding inmates by blasting them with a beam of excruciating energy that produces a burning sensation. The weapon is 4 feet tall and will be installed on the ceiling and be able to swivel. Physically it is a cross between a robot and a satellite radar. The weapon of mass destruction will be remotely controlled by Tarkin's twin brother in a separate room who will be able to line up targets with a joystick. The ACLU has gone viral and is demanding a meeting. Cmdr. Osborne, a techie for the sheriff's dept, said, 'the neat thing with this device is you experience pain but are not injured by it.' Ohhhh. Ray guns that don't injure. Like the taser? Buck Rodgers says, 'after you.'

2. Ken Melhman, former 'everything' for the repubs (chair of the repub National Committee blah, blah, blah and outed years ago in 2006 on Larry King by Maher and Mike Rodgers where he emphatically denied it is today officially out of the closet. In. Out. Married to Bush. Thanks a lot chump for being so vocal during the Cheney years.

3. The Swedes. Is there something in the water there? Elin Nordegren is the toast of her country. Apparently Swedish woman are taught to be independent, not take any shit, and move on without looking back. Evidently it's part of the culture there. There's something to be said for having a bit of the Salander gene embedded. You think Steig Larsson was on to something?