Happy Scatter Shots

After the last blog, my sister subtly lobbied for more optimistic news. You want it? You got it.
What better way to start with the 33 miners in Chile.

1. Against all odds, and in a feat which re-defines the word, 'survival' (yeah, you, abominable CBS television series) 33 miners gutted it out 1/2 a mile down in the underworld, the belly of the beast, and were brought safely to the surface today after spending two months in 90 degree heat and oppressive claustrophobic conditions. How did they survive? They came together and formed a disciplined plan of survival. They found a small running water fall which they used for showering. They dug 3 wells for drinking water and kept the area clean of waste material. The 33 men exercised by running up and down empty tunnels almost a half mile in length. When they were discovered alive 17 days after the cave-in, the miners had almost exhausted their rations of 2 spoonfuls of tuna, a cup of milk, one cracker, and a spoonful of peach topping which they allowed themselves every other day. Attended to by Doctors on the surface, the miners were sent nutrition packets until their caloric count leveled off. Fresh air was pumped into the tunnel and as their spirits rose, the men requested wine, but got cola instead. Smokers were initially given chewing gum and nicotine patches (are you kidding me?) , and in some sort of Pyrrhic victory were finally slipped 40 cigarettes daily. And why not? Under those circumstances, just days from meeting my maker, I'd like a couple of smokes too. Miraculously, as the 33 miners ascended to the surface, one by one, in a special pair of dark glasses to shield their eyes, the world applauded.

2. After the shooting of Bambi and Old Yeller, all members of the Oakland Police department must now take an annual mandatory dog and wildlife course given by the SPCA.

3. Spaghetti tacos. The rage of the pre-teen diet. Offered as a gag on a nickelodeon show, the double-double carbohydrate meal is the craze. Blogs and recipes for the dish are clogging the 'net' as the food itself chugs towards the crazed armies of ingesting 'tweens spiking their tiny tyke arteries with fat globules the size of chicken nuggets. Any parent that needs to consult sites to figure out the prep work, or even considers making this for their children should be led out into their yard, stood up against a wall, and well, you know...on second thought, Alex and Iz, are these good?