1. Yesterday, Punxsutawney Phil was roused from Gobbler's Knob for the traditional question. Chicago citizens trapped in their homes, their cars, metallic glaciers, abandoned along lake shore drive, channel surfed to the broadcast dawn event. 6,000 frosty witnesses perked up when Phil looking more rotund (psst, tip for Phil: get with the national anti-obesity program) than previous sightings, sniffed the air, ignored the chanting crowd, and squinted into the bright frigid morning light for anyone holding a donut. His handlers in silly top hats stroked his head. 'Say something Phil,' some frat guys yelled. 'Uh,ok. Powdered or glazed,' Phil shot back. 'Whaat?' some woman up front cried. The President (not to be confused with El Presidente) of the Punxsutawney Phil Inner Circle asked for silence. Phil poked his nose up even further in the air, 'I smell cheese,' he whined. On a roll now and continuing the hot thread, Phil squeaked, 'the Packers win the Superbowl.' A voice from the back of the crowd, yelled, 'this is cruelty to animals, get an effing robotic gopher.' One of Phil's handler's muttered, 'GDamn PETA's here, Phil, get on with it.' 'D-o-n-u-t-s,' spelled Phil in a balloon over his head. The President cleared his throat, 'Umm, Punxsutawney Phil in 2011, does not see his shadow.' Chicago citizens watching on TV began weeping happy tears. 'And, furthermore,' the President of Punxsutawney, said, 'Phil has declared that our Steelers will prevail on Sunday.' The frozen thrill seekers roared. Phil's teeth chattered noisily, 'Packers win. Packers win.' Grumpily turning his back on the crowd, Phil broke wind, and headed back into his burrow.
2. If you are a believer in Karma, and I am, than you know that this is Aaron Rodgers time. The Packers take the Lombardi trophy back to Green Bay on Sunday. It's two great NFL franchises, playing in Jerry's world, where 'the stars at night, are big and bright,'...
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