...'Can you picture what will be...'

Feel compelled today, what with NPR giving the 'end of the world' robust coverage. Just saying I'm not quite there yet. And anyway, since you learn everything from the telly and big screen films, I don't see an asteroid parked on our doorstep a la 'Melancholia' by Lars von Trier, nor have I heard of a speeding meteor heading for splash down on planet earth. So, send up the bat signal, and pass the donuts, please

1. This has been a hella year for women on the telly. Leading the field is a Danish production called Borgen which means government or the castle. Starring Sidse Babett Knudsen as Brigitte Nyborg who becomes the first PM of Denmark, this is unequivocally, the gold standard, the mother lode of all which ever came before or will ever follow. There is already talk of an American adaptation. Why? Because Americans are too lazy to read subtitles. With 2 seasons in the can, do yourself a favor, and watch
one of the finest Euro productions to stream this way.

2. The Hour. I wrote about it last year, and this season it broke from the gate running and is even better. How is that possible? Romola Garai as Bel Rowley is brilliant. And her Bel to Ben Whishaw's, Freddie, is scintillating, heady, and awash with all the stuff you yearn for in dialogue. Vivid. And memorable. Gdamn the Brits are good! 

3. Homeland. The shark jumping series which loves to remind you that it's 24 creators love trolling the briny blue etc. Clare Danes in a role which left her treading chum infested waters for every implausible fracking episode, yeah, big fist bump to you. Wobbly chin, and googly eyes, Danes was the best we had on this side of the ocean in a ridiculous, sphincter tightening, moronic (yes) production which some of us could not stop watching.

4. Lena Dunham. Talent. Talent. Talent. Glimpse, you tube: Your first time.

5. Real life imitates art. Props to Park Geun-hye, the first woman, elected President of South Korea.

And so it goes....

As If....

1. I went back and forth...should I or shouldn't I toss gasoline on the flames, and dog pile my boos onto the cascading chorus. Cause, baby, anyway you try and spin it, the new UC logo is fucking awful. Alums are pissed; students embarrassed; and staff are circulating a petition to have it removed. Never have so many been so united over a cause. And that's damn hard to do in Berkeley. Seriously, was the logo designed on the farm in  Palo Alto? Because, really, it's a joke. Two vivid descriptions keep cycling to the surface: 1. a flushing toilet bowl. 2. a half assed C frozen in dial up modem hell. Come on, now. The University of California is one of the greatest public institutions in the land. Fix this! Someone put your big boy pants on, and take it back. Because the logo is the biggest WTF to ever hit the campus since 1968...

2. Two weeks ago, gully washer barreling down my street. Today, warm Indian summer weather. Down at the docks watching the ships stream by. Water glistening like jewels. I understand the allure of the ocean, the pull it might have on seafaring laddies. When I was in the islands last month, I saw the 'green flash' unexpectedly. Over the years, there were days I looked for it; eyes concentrating, the last rays of the sun sinking comfortably into the under belly. But on that day, I stepped out to the lanai,my mind filled with thoughts like: "I'm not eating enough greens, here. Or, am I in television hell? When is my fucking broken toe going to heal?"when the sun started to sink, and wham, in a precious nano second, the green flash zapped the horizon. All Lourdes like, priceless.

3. Manny Pacquiao. Manny. Manny. Manny. Mitt Romney and Ann visited his dressing room before the fight on Saturday night in Vegas. Knocked out cold in the 6th round for 2 minutes, maybe Manny should consider shaking up his pre-fight rituals. Just saying...

"Hana Hou"

1. The banner headline on the front page of the Honolulu Star Advertiser in Caps..the day after the Presidential election. Loosely translated for all haoles, it means 'One More Time!' The Punahou grad surely enjoyed the local colloquialism of that phrase. It's true, I've been MIA; back in the islands taking care of family business; one sad little fact...not once did I venture to my secret Hawaiian beach for a dip. Or to Leonard's for a malasada.

2. The Nene. Official state bird of Hawaii is a relative of the Canadian Goose. Apparently on the big island of Hawaii there have been a rash of lead footed drivers pasting Nene into fresh road kill. How do you not see a gray goose crossing the road?

3. Brad Pitt and Chanel No. 5. So so wrong. Lose the hair, and study Charlize Theron for Dior, or Catherine Deneuve your predecessor.

4. I grew up with the scent of Chanel No. 5 trailing through the house. That was the only perfume my mother wore, and she wore it everyday. Every single day. To work. To church. To the grocery store. She never ventured out without dabbing her wrists or neck. I remember buying one of my aunts a bottle of Faberge for Christmas. It was cheap and I was young. Later, after I graduated from college, I bought my mother a small bottle of Chanel No. 5. After she died, I could still detect the No. 5 embedded and drifting up like a ghost from the leather seats of her car...the perfume will always be associated with Alyce; the good, the gracious, and at times, the bad. There were many moments in my past when the mere hint of Chanel No. 5 raised the hair on my misbehaving head. So, get it  right, Brad.

5. Hostess, toast yesterday, like the roach might live to bake another day. Settle up with your crew, you turkeys, and keep churning the twinks. 

6. Enjoy Thursday. The 3 NFL games. The pie.

Smashing Pumpkins

1. One of the greatest band names ever. Admit it. As a kid, didn't you once want to go out there on Halloween night and pulverize the punk into stringy melon chunks?

2. Stripped of his 7 Tour de France titles, and banned for life by the International Cycling Union, Lance Armstrong has been asked, today, to return the 4 million dollars earned in those events. In a sport where doping is rampant; where every competitive country has come under scrutiny; where there have been allegations and expulsions for years, none has been as shocking as Lance Armstrong's fall from grace. Uncovering the most sophisticated deliberate doping scheme to ever deceive the public (tens of millions of American taxpayers dollars in funding to the USPS Armstrong's cycling team) and ironically 'rope-a-doping' cynical media too, all fell like a house of cards, because 2 women: Betsy Andreu, and Emma O'Reilly sick of the cover-up and lies, were the first to come forth with stories of the PED: steroids, testosterone, growth hormones, and EPO. Bullied. Called crazy and jealous. Hit with lawsuits by team Armstrong, the 2 women ultimately said what no one really had the conviction to say: the emperor had no clothes on.

3. Lena Dunham. We love you, babe! Her ad for Obama is sensational in the Dunham 'way'; clever, contemporary, cozy and ballsy (ya know what I mean) in sista hood parlance...get out the vote. Our bodies. Our selves.

4. Half Moon Bay. Home of the Great Punk.

'The Bear will not die'

1. 1982. My job app to the great UCB a dopy hazy gleam in my eye; living in Oakland close enough to hear the canon boom from tight wad hill over-looking Memorial stadium. I don't quite remember where exactly I was that day, but I know 'the play' in the theater of gridiron heroics stands as the greatest, engaging, most dramatic of collegiate endings. Score 20-19. John Elway, the All American, standing on the Stanford sidelines thinking Heisman, and his day is done. 4 seconds left. Not so fast big boy. Joe Kapp, the fiery Cal coach, gathers his players around him, and calls for 'gra-bass,' an old training exercise: a designated group of players tries to keep the ball away from the linemen. 'Furd' kicks off. The undisciplined, infamous, red and white band sheathed in hard hats to protect against frozen projectiles (oranges and grapefruits) storms the field of play, a violation (!!), while the ball is in the air. Five gra-bass laterals, when luck inter-twined with destiny, on that field of play that day, when everybody wearing blue in Memorial would rather be lucky than good, the Bear did not go quit. Nor did they die. Kevin Moen, elevated, ascending like Jesus over the insane band... Cal 25-Stanford 20.

2. Old Blues vs the Cardinal red. In an election year. Just saying...

3 On the 30th Anniversary, of 'the play' a tip of the cap, and tequila shots to Joe Kapp. Go Bears!

Ringside

1. Orlando Cruz, a featherweight boxer of Puerto Rican descendant, with a record of 18-2-1 called a 'presser' last week and declared his homosexuality. Cruz, 31, said he wanted to be true to himself, and

to be a good role model for youth who were interested in pursuing a boxing career. In a sport which thrives on machismo and mano a mano chest thumping, Cruz is the first 'active' pugilist to come out; he has said, 'I always will be a proud Puerto Rican, and I have always been and will always be a proud gay man.' In some circles, those are considered fighting words. But Orlando Cruz's courageous statement left no doubt...bring it on.

2. After Mitt laid the whoop ass on el Presidente last week, and left the donks nervously scratching their heads at the passive (um, did he really just mail it in?) embarrassing exhibition, ol' Uncle Joe climbed into the ring last night, slapped on the gloves, and put some emphatic smak down. Energetic, animated, obnoxiously smirking at the bull that was dropping from Ryan's lips, Joe Biden went old school on Ryan mixing body blows and an assortment of right crosses . On taxes, medicare, and foreign policy, down went Ryan. On abortion, straight to Ralph Kramden's moon. Biden, avoiding verbal gaffes, was a feisty man on a mission.  Combative debate, that's what I'm talking about! And the moderator, Martha Raddatz of ABC news was a breath of fresh air. A woman amongst the boyz. Bring her back.

'She started a heatwave...'

1. One of Marilyn Monroe's tour de force renditions from 'No business like show business.' It's hella hot here in my region of Cali. But, truthfully, we're wimps compared to the rest of the country. We are children of the 'fog' in more ways than one, and whenever the temp creeps past the mid-80's some of us start whimpering like the spoiled candy asses we are. It's a lot of iced mint teas and swamp coolers or personal fans which, come on now, are really Jedi mind tricks. I personally never met an AC cooled venue that I didn't love with. What is missing in this region, as any savvy (gloating) kamaaina knows, are the island trade winds...

2. The youthful Oakland Athletics, picked by many scribes to lose 100 games, owned by a fat cat who has been trying since 2006 to move the team out of Oakland first, to San Jose and now Fremont, had to slap a grin on his face when the A's clinched a play off spot last night. The team is young, fearless, and fun to watch.

3. The A's and the Giants are both in the playoffs. It's not the world series yet. But it's warm, earthquake weather, and October. 1989 Loma Prieta deja vu all over again?

4. The Donks and the E'phants strap on the gloves and step into the ring. Is this enough drama to derail me from Sons of Anarchy? I think not. If your mind isn't made up yet, it's too late. The train has pulled out of the station.